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What are the Responsibilities of a Groomsman?

Nicole Madison
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Updated: Feb 03, 2024
Views: 29,883
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A groomsman is typically a man who is important to the groom in some way. He may be a friend or a relative. Like a bridesmaid, he is visible on the happy couple’s day and may perform important tasks before the wedding. In some cases, a groomsman may not be a man at all, and some men ask their female friends or relatives to act as their wedding attendants, wearing dresses instead of the usual tuxedos.

Similar to the way bridesmaids help the bride, groomsmen are expected to help the groom. Before the wedding, a groomsman acts as an adviser to the groom, supporting him and helping him to overcome any pre-wedding jitters. He may also help the groom with staying organized and planning certain wedding details. He also assists the groom with choosing attire for his attendants.

A groomsman is expected to attend all pre-wedding parties. This may include engagement parties, a bachelor party, and any coed showers. He is expected to attend the wedding rehearsal and the rehearsal dinner as well. This attendant is also called on to provide moral support on the day of the wedding, helping the groom to relax and dress for the ceremony.

Typically, a groomsman has important jobs to perform on the day of the wedding. He is usually tasked with showing guests to their seats before the ceremony, although some grooms do have separate ushers for this job. Groomsmen are also expected to stand near the groom during the ceremony, participate in formal photographs, escort bridesmaids from the ceremony, and dance with them at the wedding reception. After the reception, they assist with moving wedding gifts and other items belonging to the happy couple.

Being a groomsman entails certain costs. Wedding etiquette dictates that he pays for his own attire for the ceremony. He is expected to handle the costs of traveling to the wedding and securing a hotel room, if needed. A groomsman is also charged with helping the best man host and pay for a bachelor party. Furthermore, he is expected to provide one shower or engagement gift and one wedding gift.

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Nicole Madison
By Nicole Madison
Nicole Madison's love for learning inspires her work as a WiseGeek writer, where she focuses on topics like homeschooling, parenting, health, science, and business. Her passion for knowledge is evident in the well-researched and informative articles she authors. As a mother of four, Nicole balances work with quality family time activities such as reading, camping, and beach trips.
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Discussion Comments
By amypollick — On Oct 13, 2012

@anon296762: I think you're a little worried about whether your partner will think about "hooking up" with one of those single women he might dance with. If he loves you, then you have nothing to worry about. It's a dance, not a mating ritual.

If my husband were a groomsman at a wedding and was expected to dance with the bridesmaids, or some single girls, it wouldn't bother me. He's going home with me. If your partner is going home with you, then go and have a good time. Make a point of meeting new people, and maybe even make a new friend.

It really sounds like there are some insecurities showing through, so it might be a good idea to stop and ask yourself why this bothers you so much. And talk to your partner. He can reassure you that he's going home with you, not someone else.

By anon296762 — On Oct 12, 2012

I'm really in the same dilemma as zen and feeling very uncomfortable regarding to the prospect of attending a wedding next week with my partner, who has been selected as a groomsman.

My particular concern is the expectation of my partner having to mingle and dance with bridesmaids and single females on the day. This may seem a bit strange but I don't feel that the partners of the groomsmen have a fair deal in the whole situation.

Maybe I sound a bit selfish, but I'm not sure how my partner would feel if I spent my time on the wedding day hanging around and dancing with all the single men.

My partner and I are in a committed relationship and have been for the last eight years. Surely this shouldn't be a part of the groomsmen's role in this day and age?

I'd really appreciate any feedback, positive or negative, so that I can get my head around this part of the expectation.

By Dayton — On Jul 10, 2007

Hi zen,

Actually, my friend was very recently in this same situation. She ended up going to the wedding, hanging out with a couple of other women whose partners were groomsmen, and having a blast.

Your hesitation is understandable, but I would discuss it with your boyfriend. It may be very important to him that you're there, or he may spend more time worrying about you than enjoying his friend's wedding.

Good luck!

By zen — On Jul 10, 2007

i'm in a dilemma. My partner has been asked to be a groomsman at a wedding. I have been invited to attend the wedding but i have been told that the grooms man will be busy with the groom and the bridesmaids at all times and i will find myself sitting and dining and spending time on my own or other unknown people at the wedding as i am not part of the bridesmaids team.I am not familiar with the responsibilities of the groomsman at the wedding can you tell me if it is a good idea to attend the wedding at all. or and how do i hold my self during this time and when does the groomsman my partner have free time to spend and be with me (his partner /girlfriend)at the wedding.

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